A Houdini Complex

Hullo Internet,

First off, Happy Father's Day! I hope if there are any readers that if you pause to read this post that I hope you have a good day. I genuinely mean it (unless you're an asshole, but hopefully not).

Because now I currently reside in Utah, California is a bitter reminder that I do not get devour delicious calories within the holy grails of all burgers. I know there are some In-N-Out burger joints within the state of Utah but they are not worth the excess gasoline to drive in their venue and eat there. So, since I was back for a few weeks, I had the delight to gorge myself for a feast at my local In-N-Out for Father's day. Though I did not eat the meat portion, I ate two grilled cheeses, which are not included on the menu, and animal fries, which were not included either. The reason that these items were not included in the menu is that there has been an evolved menu spoken verbally between customer and employee. It is a great menu that most people don't know about. So, if you want a treat or something different at literally the best burger chain place that consistently sends out delicious, delectable ambrosia for us mere mortals.

With some tasty lemonade, I ate voraciously in every detail. First off, a grilled cheese is a basic traditional In-N-Out burger with the standard bun, lettuce, tomato, and meat beef patty. Instead of the meat, there is a substitution of grilled cheese for the meat and it is great for a vegetarian. If you ever miss those burgers, then it is a great, unspoken item for vegetarians. For a flexitarian, I always take advantage for these great effing treats. After missing these babies, the grilled cheeses were grilled to perfection, their sweet buns were crispy in my mouth, making me drool slightly while I gorged myself underneath the savory special sauce, a combination of mayonaise, ketchup, and relish. I ate two of these suckers like a vampire, swallowing them whole. I had to remind myself to slow down, enjoy this rare experience, and consume with delight. I did. I guarantee that. But sometimes, being a college kid, you forget to eat slowly because this meal is like your last one and make it count. Food makes you do some crazy shit.

Anyways, I also ate my first animal fries. I know these sound awful but these are fries too. These fries are decorated with a layer of grilled onions, fried until it is slippery, chopped, and ready to add on top of a fresh batch of signature in-n-out fries. Then they are not finished at adding more. They add their special sauce on top of that because they wanted to make it even more full of delicious calories for your eating pleasure. Finally, because this is also on the unheard menu, I heard great stories for this treat and loved it. These were worth more than any other type of fries I have tasted and now wish I just ate those instead. They are the most filling fries I ever consumed in my stomach. I got the biggest food baby from this feast and say it was a foodgasm. I enjoyed the rare taste of salt and fat. I don't eat it very often because I am a health nut mostly. Even in college, I still try to eat white meat, salad, and try not to snack. I have been good and In-N-Out is the one exception that allows me to gorge until I have a fat food baby.

So, I have no regrets. I would do it again. I will say that I had the biggest foodgasm, watching a beautiful display of food porn that I hope to keep in mind. To watch the steam waft from their buns is an honor to consume. I shall remember this tasty meal and salute especially to all the dads out there who would do the same.

Natalie