Hullo Internet,

It's been a while. It's been a looong while and I have been busy doing things back and forth. Anyway, so I just wanted to account what I have been doing from last week to this week. I am having difficulties trying to finish so much stuff in so little time that I want to give myself a moment just to recall what has been happening for me for this summer. I want to remember what these moments have done for me and make me feel like I am a capable, functioning person in a city, able to survive in society. So, here I go.

I have been having an identity crisis lately. I mean I have finally have been hit by the "who am I?" bug and think about how I affect others around me and vice versa. I have never been pushed so far to think about how my ethnicity and my gender have been affected over the years and how when I mentally choose things have been a blessing. I am lucky that I am born in this time. I really do. I believe I might have been placed here during this time because I was meant to help people and hope to pursue much better purposes. I have thought about what I want to do with my life that I want to do these simple things with many possible pathways. And it's really simple what I want to do.

I want to help people. I want to help people for the better part of the world. Why should we not? I really believe it as a way to help mankind and put yourself out into the world to help others who do not have the chance to do things like you do. I do not want to impress them into doing something against their will but I want to facilitate things to help them get their dreams. Isn't it how people should be in real life? Helping people because it is our choice. I think that is what I would want to do. Do what I love and be good to people. Sometimes, I think that is the only tool in our own invisible tool belts that can help save the world. If we take the initiative to try and help people, I think we would be able to make ourselves see the good in the world and let it be seen more visibly compared to the bad. I know that bad things, evil, vile, unspeakable deeds occur all over the world. But I also know that we have the power to actually do something and make it visible amongst the large arrays of stupidity that exists in our media and culture.

Finishing that, I want to do that. I was thinking about how so many problems that exists in society could be helped if we were able to take a moment and reflect upon ourselves to see how much more power we don't give ourselves credit to do. I think we forget this is the year 2012 and we are prone forgetfulness that we can do things, we have more power to do things for other people that we just mind our own businesses and stick our noses in the mud with work, school, friends, and family. These are important but I think we should just think about what we could also do to people who are less unfortunate. People do not have that same power and cannot live with some things we all could not live without.

Yes, moving on. I was a deep thinker, lost in my thoughts. Seriously, I was pondering about all this in my head and couldn't get it out. I tend to ramble sometimes but I think that the message came out clearly. But I have my summer classes to blame for that. These summer classes really get to me sometimes because they explore regions outside of what we normally think about. They express issues I think people do not take notice because we believe it is the norm. I really worry about the fact that we do not address some issues between gender, the gay community, and ethnic minorities. All of these groups have a better support system but they also have so many problems within that I, at least, never noticed. For example, I thought of the gender issues. Boys are pressured with this standard of masculinity that makes me think boys have so much to deal with. It is so psychologically troubling how it links to their minds subconsciously that they have to live a certain way and isolate themselves into a destructive path with violence that could lead to bullying and murder. Not all boys have this happen to them but I then caught up with reality on thoughts of the Aurora shooting at the Dark Knight Rises Theatre. I was thinking about the connections and it could of occurred with school, friends, or family that this shooter had to commit violence.

On top of that, I also thought the fact that the media coverage was a bit excessive for them. It is devastating that it happened. But I found a quote from the critic, Roger Egbert, who made a point about mass media and shooters that made me understand that our culture can only focus on one things at a time.

Dear Internet,

Last week was exhausting. I have never been so exhausted my whole life. I was roleplaying two different lives for a week and I never want to do that ever again. On Sunday, my family came over and they were quite something. On each day, they wanted to do something while I tried to attend school. It was hectic. Something I hope I never have to do for a while.

First day, I drove everyone through the chaotic streets of Utah all by myself. I picked them up and drove off to eat at Spaghetti Factory. It was delicious but regretful. I got to try this beautiful Garlic Mizthrathi spaghetti. The garlic dripped in my mouth from the delectable lines of noodles in my mouth. But the problem about this story is that I left it in the car too long and it was dead the next day:(

On day two, I have looked through my archives of pictures to discover the most attractive photos of mine that exist between me and my family. They were quite frightening to look at again. But we just relaxed at their hotel because I was tired from doing homework late at night. It required heavy duty reading, which I have not done yet right now to avoid!,  because I am a first class procrastinator!

I know the next day I shopped heavily at this big donation store called Deseret Industries. It is owned by the Mormon Church and has the best deals I have ever seen with used clothes. It makes me excited to say thatI found so may great deals from this store that I should just keep shopping from it and make my own clothes hauls to show how great it is! Seriously, I now am a proud owner of a once possessed dark violet sweat jacket from American Apparel. If you know this store, it is the most effing expensive clothes brand I have ever seen. But at the DI, the nickname of the store, I found this lovely prized possession for six bucks. I bargain a college kid can afford guaranteed!

But I also know the next day I was finally able to see Brave and it was the most amazing Pixar experience yet. I didn't know what to expect with a princess and a fairytale. I am a hard core Pixar and Disney fan. I know a fair amount of knowledge about animation, the artists behind them, Walt Disney, and anything dealing with animation. I enjoy knowing things and odd facts from films but I tried to stay away from any spoilers from this film and I was happy.

It was very poignant with relationships. If you are in need for the return of family, you should watch this film. Although, I know that everyone has forgotten about Brave by now or has seen it. But I think it is still worth every damn minute of your time. Though the Dark Knight Rises is coming, it is coming .....

But the last days of the week, I was able to enjoy three separate trips across Utah. The first was going to the Zoo. I love going to the Zoo because I got to see so many animals that only exist within a picture on a screen or in a book. But when you meet the actual physical thing in front of you about a few feet from you, you are breathless because it is an odd thing to know they are real.

Then I went to the Prairie town-esque Park. It has people all over Utah to come and work these old past time traditions within the town. I was able to see more animals on this day too! I saw goats, pigs, cows, reindeer, even some ponies that didn't look like ponies to us. But one thing I truly appreciated from this trip was that these traditions: pioneers, native Americans, and cultures that occurred over a hundred years ago was still able to thrive in this one place. I admit that it was quite beautiful to know how people were able to come out to this state and use their resources around them to survive and allow us to come to this country.

Discovering those traditions was recovering something I wish everyone could find. I wish that people would realize that a lot of our cultures are dying around us and we do not even know it. I am studying how the American culture affects us and I saw it as very relevant to now, even as I saw Native Americans,

Hullo Internet,

I just want to say that the internet is a wonderful place and I am very thankful that it exists. Today, for a Friday, I did not have summer school to attend and it was a nice carefree day to relax. I woke up around eight, worked out, and did homework in a leisure fashion. But the amazing thing was that I felt like I traveled all around the world today and felt very positive about reality and the cosmos. How this happened was I was basically on Youtube for about three hours after accomplishing some things on my to do list. Such tasks included finishing a take home exam, a reading journal, and etc; I took mini-breaks for Youtube and spent literally three hours on the Vlogbrothers Channel because I discovered a playlist called Thoughts from Places.

This plethora of video was a playlist that consisted of the brothers, Hank and John Green if you do not know them. I recommend highly to subscribe and learn so much from them! A brother duo with one being a writer and the other a musician; they are AWESOME! They dedicate messages to each other with each video, alternating between each brother's point-of-view, and they are smart, witty, and totally relateable to watch as they go off on their adventures, living their lives to the fullest!

Anyways, I was watching their playlist Thoughts from Places and learned so much from all of these places. I went to Amsterdam, Small Town America, London, DC, North Carolina, all these places that accumulated across the world. I was given a privilege to watch and observe all these fantastic places where all these odd yet incredible things happen all across the world. Sometimes, it feels like I was part of those places and I might not have to go there myself. (But I would anyway if I get the chance ;) But I learned a lot across this spectrum of people, conditions, awareness of what is happening on the other side of our planet. Watching these videos helped me develop perspective of what is happening at all over the world and how I might one day share it all through the internet. I mean I already have. If you read this, you already have reached the other side of the world for all I know and that is amazing.

We live in a world where we have opportunity. If you have wifi or some way of access to electricity, you have a chance to enter a portal that can expand your mind. You have the choice to make things happen, learn about complete strangers on the other side of the planet by the tips of your fingers, you can make a difference between life and death, and you get the chance to be influenced by all these beautiful, strange, unique, and almost impossible people that you have never met. And that is the beauty of the Internet.

Yes, there was a point to this philosophical post. I think the Internet has become this shelter for people. It has become a powerful tool for the individual. It is like a living, breathing organism in the way that it allows people to learn, to understand, and to love things the more that you stare at them or long for. It could be this massive sphere where we all can connect and link the stories and tales that happen to us in our lives. The internet allows us to evolve and link together our experiences in ways that could change this universe the way it did for me today on Youtube with the Vlogbrothers. I was able to connect to all these places, in a cheesy, atypical way like in any childhood, allowed me to expand my mind without ever leaving my apartment and give me the courage to come up with this post.

The Internet can change things for the better. I know bad things can happen and are capable of doing horrible things for people. If used properly, we can do so much with so much potential to make change and live it up. I think that that is why the Internet exists so we can attach ourselves to what we love and discover what we want to be, understand our identities, and present who we are to the people we love most.

So, I want to remember why we are lucky and given a choice to share our experiences. Blogging helps facilitate it and I hope we can keep this in mind.

Natalie